"I'm happy to announce the signing of former St. Louis Cardinal and World Series champion Scott Spiezio to our staff," Matt Sargent said at the podium. "He brings so much to the table, including, most recently, an arrest warrant. But for now, he'll be our official head of scouting and investigator into the possibility of expansion of BEI into the recreational sport of softball."
How, you ask, did BEI arrange such a coup? Well, Tony Pena and Mike Sweeney were unavailable! No, hahah, no, really....Pena turned down the offer, and Sweeney had an issue with his wife or something. In fact, the REAL loser in this whole transaction is Revlon, who'd supplied Spiezio with his red hair die for his facial hair the last few seasons. Once thought to be an exclusive deal, he's now with L.A. Looks, who've supplied him with his brand-new "Green Dye #24 Especial" that he unveiled at this morning's press conference.
When Spiezio speaks, B. Press will be there with our ears open. We'll have all the news on this new position at BEI HQ as it breaks.
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